How much of what we say to ourselves is can do and let’s go?
And how much is too hard or I can’t?
Whichever we tell ourselves is how we are going to experience life.
And it is a choice.
Watching the amazing death-defying athletes competing in The Winter Olympics earlier this year was an inspiring example of mind over matter.
How do you think they would go if, at the nose bleedingly high starting points of the Ski Jumping or Aerial Skiing events they were to firstly see themselves in a crumpled mess at the bottom of the slope and secondly, tell themselves that this is what is going to happen?
They would probably not go real well.
Yes – a crumpled mess is one possible result of flinging yourself four stories in the air without a parachute after hurtling down a steep and slippery slope. But that is only one possibility isn’t it?
Possibility Thinking in our Daily Life
While we may not be exacting this kind of challenge upon ourselves, we are presented daily with opportunities to honour what’s in our hearts, be brave, and grow. If we say to ourselves that speaking up for our needs and having that tough conversation with our husband is going to be hard, then we tend to want to prove ourselves right and guess how that tough conversation goes?
You got it!
Same goes in other challenging situations we may be facing, like telling that bully at school to go jump, or the guy we pay to mow our lawn that he has been doing a poor job lately or that the way our friend speaks to us is hurtful. What we tell ourselves about the situation and how it is going to go, creates our experience of how that situation is going to go.
You see, we all tend to enjoy being right don’t we?
And so if part of us, our Ego, (who tends to also like to keep things same-same and comfortable) tells us how it fears a certain situation is going to go, then guess what? Not wanting to be wrong, we make sure we are right and turn this fear into a reality.
Of course telling ourselves that speaking up or dealing with a bully at school is easy may not be the answer either? Sometimes speaking up actually is hard.
But maybe just like that needle at the dentist; what we’re telling ourselves about it beforehand is often much worse than the reality of the tiny little sting. So let’s always keep it real shall we? Always in perspective, taking a let’s wait and see approach, which means staying present, instead of drifting off into our heads and our imagined fear.
And while we’re keeping it real and waiting and seeing, we can also be preparing a strategy for success. You know…like those Aerial Skiers?…up there talking through their run to themselves and their Coach, seeing the successful jump in their mind’s eye, standing in the golden spot on the dais.
A Success Strategy to Play With
Our can do success strategy could go something like this:
We may start by telling ourselves…
Yes – that conversation with my husband seems like it’s going to be hard.
But how do I know?
How do I know right now exactly what the future will bring?
Then we may allow ourselves to consider all the possibilities
OR very simply and easily,
we could give our mind a rest and consider the irrefutable fact that of course there simply ARE more possibilities than the single one we have considered…
and stop the negative self-talk about it right there.
We may find lots of peace of mind comes from the mathematical, rational and Universal truth that as Human Beings, we actually have no way of telling what the future will bring.
And so then couldn’t we choose to walk toward it with presence, confidence and positivity instead?
And if those states seem out of reach for us at the moment…
Couldn’t we see ourselves walking toward the future with, at the very least, a childlike sense of curiosity?
How would that be for you?
Contributed by Rachel Carrol, Generative Change
Rachel has worked in Allied Health for over 17 years and loves helping empower people to step up, take responsibility and lovingly, yet candidly supports them in making the changes they know they need to be happy.
She believes all we really need is to feel happy in each moment and this is her number one Coaching goal. She wants to make the world a better place by helping more people find happiness. She LOVES working with clients who want to make the world a better place too.
Because she has experienced the isolation of living in regional Australia and also the comfort of having access to quality remote health services, she offers Life Changing Coaching and Mental Healthcare online/over the phone so everyone, anywhere can feel connected and get the help they need.
She lives in Melbourne with her husband, LOVES walking on the beach, homemade lamingtons, gardening and going on adventures to new places.